Acceptance

The blanket of overcast dawn has been rumpled into the corner of the northeast sky.  A clear blue-sky inaugurates April as Nature has joined in the conspiracy to Light It Up Blue for awareness and acceptance of autism.  For nine years now, Mason has led us on this journey of discovery, awakening, worry, therapy, and understanding.  When the sky is blue, blue is the color of serenity.  When a blue light glows during an indigo night, blue is peaceful.  Blue is a new beacon shining through awareness to illuminate acceptance.

The work of spreading awareness is never finished.  There will always be people who only notice when someone close faces the daily challenges dealt by autism.  Others will choose to ignore the evidence and believe the skillfully spun myths.  Some will be aware but in the blurred images they can see through a foggy, crackled window pane.  But huge numbers of people are aware.  When a new diagnosis is rendered, there are places to go and people to see for help and support.  New movies, television programs, news stories and literature illuminate the stories of families and people touched by autism.

So what is acceptance?  A few months ago, Mason and I sat on the bar stools at our kitchen island.  First I spun one way, he spun the other.  Each revolution brought us to where our eyes met.  With each circle, his grin grew and his eyes sparkled.  I reversed direction.  So did he.  He laughed.  So did I.  I leaned in close as we spun around – close enough that our foreheads bumped.  Chuckles became belly laughs. He laughed so hard he almost slipped off the stool.  Our laughter lasted; it always seems to last.

Mason received the Courage Award in a vote by his schoolmates.  He climbed to the stage for the principal to hand him his certificate.  He got, and gave, many high fives.  Words are not his forte. He did not give a speech or thank the crowd for their votes.  He smiled.  When he does use words, an active listener will hear him say what’s on his mind.  As he descended the stairs from the stage, Mason’s dad waited nearby.  Mason reached out to Joel, thumped him in the middle of his chest and said, “Happy Birthday.”  Yes, it was Joel’s birthday, maybe his very best birthday. 

Going to bed or to the bathroom are factors in a new calculus for child rearing.  Mason’s mom has discerned new ways to see – she gets it.  Mason will tease her.  He might become impatient with her when she misses his point.  But he knows.  He knows that if he is tolerant and patient, she will understand.  He brings her his Mizzou t-shirt because it’s time to get ready for school.  The bag chairs are set up in garage.  He plops into one.  Jennifer sits in the other.  They communicate until school bus comes.  He knows how happy she will be when he comes home after school.

Winnie has figured out how to hide the cookies when Mason comes to visit.  His powers of deduction would humble Sherlock.  From the pot with the upside down lid to the red Tupperware container, he systematically peeks or shakes, then considers his next move.   It only takes a quarter inch corner of an Oreo bag to reveal the latest hiding place.  Once found, it gets permanently logged into his memory for future quests.  It’s a battle of wits between him and Wee.

Thomas is his brother.  They are confidants and comrades.  Each knows what the other is thinking.  They wrestle with vigor and sometimes wind up laughing, or crying.  The big brother leads the way.  The younger brother does his best to emulate.  Sometimes they want to be together.  Sometimes they must have some distance between them.

April 2^nd is the day set aside for autism awareness. April 2^nd is also Mason’s youngest cousin’s birthday.  When the family gathers for Joe’s birthday, Mason will be one of the gang.  He will join Joe as the cousins play ball in the back yard or swing on a jungle gym.  The most important things to Mason on April 2^nd is birthday cake and watching Joe blow out candles.  And ice cream!  And time with his cousins and brother being boys.

Mason is Mason.  He is not autism.  Look at him.  You will see joy and frustration.  Love and defiance.  Impatience and impishness.  You will see a boy.  You will see Mason.

                                                                                                                                       --td